How do I know if I am being or have been abused?

Sometimes, people are not sure if they are victims of domestic abuse. Maybe you aren't sure. Perhaps you haven't been seriously injured-maybe your partner hasn't hit you at all. Domestic abuse is about more than physical violence. If your partner does things that make you afraid and that isolate you from friends or family members, you may be a victim of abuse. The following checklist can help you determine if you or someone you know is abused.

  • Has your partner ever pushed, hit, kick, bite or thrown things at you, or threatened to hurt you?
  • Does your partner constantly question you, your decisions, or put you down?
  • Has your partner ever gotten drunk/high and used it as an excuse for unwanted sex, to hurt you or humiliate you?
  • Do you feel like it's easier to just go along with what your partner wants rather than make your own choices for fear of the consequences?
  • Have you stopped seeing your friends or family to avoid your partner's jealousy?
  • Do you watch what you say to avoid possible confrontation and/or your partner's disapproval?
  • Constantly criticize you and your abilities as a wife, partner, mother or employee?
  • Behave in an overprotective way and become extremely jealous?
  • Threaten to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends or his/herself?
  • Get suddenly angry or lose his/her temper?
  • Destroy personal property?
  • Deny access to family resources like the car, bank accounts, credit cards or control finances and force you to account for what is spent?
  • Intimidate or manipulated you or your children?
  • Prevent you from going where you want to, when you want to?
  • Make you have sex that makes you uncomfortable?
  • Humiliate, put you down or embarrass you in front of others?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. You're not alone and there is help available. Contact the Town of Hamburg Domestic Violence Office at 716-926-0057.

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1. What is domestic violence (DV)?
2. What services are available?
3. What can the Police do?
4. How do I know if I am being or have been abused?